I’m convincing myself I’m nauseous and therefore can’t eat because I’ll throw up at work. I’m chewing and spitting. I’ve got so much thinspo on my phone it’s not even funny. I’m planning meals and workouts every single morning. Going to the gym and then working out more at home.

I’m so mad at myself. I said I was going to do this HEALTHY.
there is nothing healthy about what I’m doing.
I know I need help before this goes too far again but I’m still too fat.

Why is it impossible for me to find balance with anything in my life?